Couples may have success
overcoming marriage problems through counseling, mediation, and
spiritual guidance. The institution of marriage consists not only of
relationship issues, but also mental and spiritual health.
When husbands and wives
reach an impasse in their relationship, the first inclination may be to
end it all. Couples should exhaust every means of reconciliation before
deciding to separate or divorce, including seeking God. "If any of
you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that gives to all men liberally,
and upbraided not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith,
nothing wavering. For he that wavered is like a wave of the sea driven
with the wind and tossed. For let not that man think that he shall
receive any thing of the Lord” ( James 1:5-7)
1. Commitment:
Commitment between both the spouses
in their relationship has the ability to ward off discord. Husbands and
wives who are equally committed to seeing the marriage through sickness
and health, poverty and wealth, as long as they both shall live are
more apt to endure hardships. Commitment is the vehicle which enables
couples to stay together when there are more bills than money at the
end of the month. Commitment is the impetus that compels husbands to
work two jobs to keep food on the table.
Jesus'
teaching on marriage went back to the "beginning." He said,
"For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall
cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh" (Matt. 19:4-9,
cf. Gen. 2:24). The word "cleave" means "to adhere
to" or literally, "to be glued" to one another (see
Strong's Hebrew and Greek Dictionary). This "glue" is
commitment! There is no problem in marriage too great to overcome if
two people are truly committed to each other.
2. Communication:
Communication is vital for any relationship to thrive, especially
marriage. Couples who give one another the silent treatment instead of
sharing concerns are playing a dangerous game. Overcoming marriage
problems can be difficult when one partner shuts down and refuses to
discuss what is troubling them. How can you give an answer when you do
not know the question? The silent treatment is a selfish and immature
way to resolve conflicts; it just will not work. By keeping the lines
of communication open, sharing heartfelt concerns while listening
intently to one another, husbands and wives can discover one of the
keys to overcoming marriage problems without soliciting the aid of
counselors. Developing listening good skills; refraining from debate,
disputes and arguments; and allowing a mate an opportunity for
self-expression without berating or belittling is crucial to the
success of matrimony.
3. Compassion:
Compassion is the ability to
show mercy to those who are hurting. During marital conflict, husbands
and wives suffer from an alienation of affection, a lack of physical
intimacy, or a cessation the close companionship they may have once
enjoyed. Acts of infidelity can have a devastating effect on both the
victim and the perpetrator. Victims of spousal unfaithfulness may feel
rejection, anger, frustration, or rage. The guilty spouse must deal
with the guilt, shame, or disappointment of falling prey to an
adulterous affair. Compassionate couples who are able to walk in one another’s
shoes have a greater chance of overcoming marriage problems than those
who refuse to look beyond faults. The husband who has committed an
offense must first forgive himself, then ask God and his wife for
forgiveness. Likewise, a wife who is a victim of adultery must try to
find compassion in spite of feelings of betrayal and righteous
indignation. If the guilty party exhibits remorse or makes a genuine
effort to reform, the offended spouse must be willing to work through
the pain of an adulterous affair.
|
4. Consideration:
1 Peter 3:7, “Husbands…be considerate as your
live with your wives.” This command certainly also applies to
wives. It means “live with your wives in an understanding way.”
Several things are implied by this command. It implies a commitment
on the part of one spouse to understand the other. This commitment
arises out of agape love, a basic concern for the satisfaction, security,
and positive development of the other person. This consideration also
implies the need for understanding and without understanding there can be
no real consideration.
We
are “joint heirs of the grace of life.” We are equal partners in
the good things of life. Couples who try to understand each other
and act considerately will not be selfish with money, possessions,
vacations, or any other blessing of life, but will consider one
another. Are you being considerate and sharing the good things with
your spouse.
5. Christ Centered:
A Christ-centered
marriage is one where both husband and wife are united in Christ. A home
that is religiously divided will have difficulties. Often there is a
tendency for one to compromise Biblical teaching in order to keep peace
in the family. The question of what to teach the children becomes a
serious problem. Where will the emphasis be in regard to recreation,
giving to the Lord's Cause, involvement in church activities. With which
parent will children attend worship services? These are but a few of the
problems faced by a religiously divided home.
The Corinthian Christians had problems
because of religiously mixed marriages. However, both Paul and Peter make
it clear that a Christian married to a non-Christian is not a sinful
relationship (1 Cor. 7:12-14; 1 Pet. 3:1-6). Yet, keep in mind Jesus'
teaching: "A house divided against itself shall not stand"
(Matt. 12:25). Jesus also said, "But seek first the kingdom of God
and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you"
(Matt. 6:33).
|
No comments:
Post a Comment